Mediocre

I'm just going to admit it. I don't do anything exceptionally well. I am incredibly mediocre. I have average looks, average smarts, average ideas, average health, average ambition, and little-to-no athletic ability. That is probably the thing I hate the most about myself. (Other than the fact that i talk too much, especially when I'm nervous)
Even in my job I am surrounded by these people who are incredibly driven. They work crazy hours, and do crazy things to exceed their goals. I have recently had to admit that I am just not driven in the same way my coworkers are. They work crazy hours, winning contests which consist of making the most phone calls, or talking to the most people, some even compromising their ethics. I am driven, but not to the extent that I care to win contests or play with work politics. It's hard to say that out loud and not feel like a mediocre piece of shit.

But I have this one thing to hold onto that's worth being driven and ravenous about. The boyfriend. I finally found someone who is worth writing about. And damnit, I'm going to love him exceptionally well. I refuse to be mediocre about this. I refuse. 

Is that enough? To be exceptional about this one thing? I think so. My mediocre brain seems to be fine with it. And I think that if I do this one thing well, I will have the jealousy of the world. Because they are exceptional. They have brilliant ideas, and drop-dead looks, and are top performers in their jobs. But lack this one thing. Exceptional love. and I've got it!