Life is so grand. I finally have the relationship I've been dreaming about. All of my friends love him. In fact, many of them, I'm reiterating, a RIDICULOUS amount of them have cornered me to tell me how much they love him. They go on to question if I think he is 'the one' and either give me their advice on how not to screw it up, or a warning that if I do screw it up they will hate me forever.
I just want to deviate for a moment and say that many times I have said a guy is "the one" only for it to take a nose dive into dismal failure. I have long stopped using terms like "the one" and "soulmate" and other ridiculous terms to indicate that fate has waived its obnoxious wand over me.
Ok, back to the topic at hand. I'm soooooooo happy to have this great boyfriend. We moved in together very shortly after dating. It didn't feel strange. I didn't feel like I had to strive too hard to make room for him in my life. We have had a lot of fun times together. Snowboarding, clubbing, traveling, road tripping, dog parks, costume parties - I take him everywhere. So why am I feeling so restless? I just want to push him away. I don't mean emotionally. I mean physically. He is everywhere. All. The. Time. I am literally only alone on my drive to and from work. Ugh. I'm not used to this. The novelty of having a roommate is gone. The novelty of having a bed mate is O-V-E-R. Has anyone of these other non-singles ever felt this way? No one has ever mentioned it to me. Most of my non-single friends keep their marital issues to themselves. Blast them.
I have communicated my need to for "me time" to the boyfriend in question. He says he understands, but it never fails that my feelings of guilt plague me for several days after the conversation. It only lasts for days because I vacillate constantly between the guilt and the crazy longing to be alone.
Is this how it lasts forever? What do I do? This doesn't mean that I don't like him. This doesn't mean we should break up, right? Can't I just like him and admire him from several miles away? Or at least from the next room?
Now I feel guilty for bitching about the thing I have been searching for ever since I started this damn blog. It doesn't matter. Single. Taken. Life is a series of events derived to show you just how fickle and silly and ridiculous you are. I'm ok with that. Just let me be fickle and silly and ridiculous in a room by myself.
I just want to deviate for a moment and say that many times I have said a guy is "the one" only for it to take a nose dive into dismal failure. I have long stopped using terms like "the one" and "soulmate" and other ridiculous terms to indicate that fate has waived its obnoxious wand over me.
Ok, back to the topic at hand. I'm soooooooo happy to have this great boyfriend. We moved in together very shortly after dating. It didn't feel strange. I didn't feel like I had to strive too hard to make room for him in my life. We have had a lot of fun times together. Snowboarding, clubbing, traveling, road tripping, dog parks, costume parties - I take him everywhere. So why am I feeling so restless? I just want to push him away. I don't mean emotionally. I mean physically. He is everywhere. All. The. Time. I am literally only alone on my drive to and from work. Ugh. I'm not used to this. The novelty of having a roommate is gone. The novelty of having a bed mate is O-V-E-R. Has anyone of these other non-singles ever felt this way? No one has ever mentioned it to me. Most of my non-single friends keep their marital issues to themselves. Blast them.
I have communicated my need to for "me time" to the boyfriend in question. He says he understands, but it never fails that my feelings of guilt plague me for several days after the conversation. It only lasts for days because I vacillate constantly between the guilt and the crazy longing to be alone.
Is this how it lasts forever? What do I do? This doesn't mean that I don't like him. This doesn't mean we should break up, right? Can't I just like him and admire him from several miles away? Or at least from the next room?
Now I feel guilty for bitching about the thing I have been searching for ever since I started this damn blog. It doesn't matter. Single. Taken. Life is a series of events derived to show you just how fickle and silly and ridiculous you are. I'm ok with that. Just let me be fickle and silly and ridiculous in a room by myself.
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