And here I am. That girl that's broken up with. Again. This time really knocked me on my ass. I'm so confused, more confused than ever. What did I do wrong? He says I didn't do anything wrong. He said he just didn't see a future with me. What? I understand that, but I don't believe it. He said he's scared of me moving to Hawaii and him hurting me. Aren't we all scared in love? Is it 'love' if it's not somewhat scary?
I just don't understand why time and time again, I end up back here. Starting over. Over and over and over. It's not that there aren't men. Plenty of men are interested in me, but rarely do I find someone who provokes me to love. Against all the odds I let him in. He let me in. I have no doubt about that. Everything was fine between us. What happened? Literally, one minute he was leaving me a voicemail telling me to have a great day, and the next he was breaking up with me. He acted cold and nonchalant, like I was a random girl or something.It was infuriating.
More than anything I feel like a fool. He was the serial dater, the guy who never got too attached. He was my "Mr. Big." I felt lucky to be that girl. I know all women secretly desire a love story, not just a guy. At least I do. But all of my love stories have me coming up looking like an idiot for believing him. I told all of our friends how much he changed. Many friends didn't believe he could be different. My own brother thought I was just getting used. Turns out they were all right. I'm just a fool who fell in love with a fool.I'm one of those girls. Ugh.
I wondered for a long time if he was just using me I until he was ready to let go of Colorado. I wondered if I was just in his life because he was lonely. I pushed it out of my mind because I was in love. Love trusts. Love risks. I was willing to do that.
This is why I'm single.
I just don't understand why time and time again, I end up back here. Starting over. Over and over and over. It's not that there aren't men. Plenty of men are interested in me, but rarely do I find someone who provokes me to love. Against all the odds I let him in. He let me in. I have no doubt about that. Everything was fine between us. What happened? Literally, one minute he was leaving me a voicemail telling me to have a great day, and the next he was breaking up with me. He acted cold and nonchalant, like I was a random girl or something.It was infuriating.
More than anything I feel like a fool. He was the serial dater, the guy who never got too attached. He was my "Mr. Big." I felt lucky to be that girl. I know all women secretly desire a love story, not just a guy. At least I do. But all of my love stories have me coming up looking like an idiot for believing him. I told all of our friends how much he changed. Many friends didn't believe he could be different. My own brother thought I was just getting used. Turns out they were all right. I'm just a fool who fell in love with a fool.I'm one of those girls. Ugh.
I wondered for a long time if he was just using me I until he was ready to let go of Colorado. I wondered if I was just in his life because he was lonely. I pushed it out of my mind because I was in love. Love trusts. Love risks. I was willing to do that.
This is why I'm single.
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