I had an amazing date yesterday. It was
like something out of a movie. One of those great unplanned dates...I call it 'perfectly imperfect.'
The plan was to go fishing in the
mountains. But I had a prior engagement that gave me very little time
to get ready for the date. When he showed up at my house I was
wearing a sundress and did not realize how extremely hairy my legs
were. I climbed in his truck and hid my legs with my purse.
We arrived at the fishing spot, but it
required us to hike about a mile to get there. I did not know this
and only had the sandals I was wearing. Still, we trekked on. Upon
arrival, we noticed clouds building that would eventually lead to rain. After he taught me how
to cast, we both hopped into the ice cold water to get closer to the
fish action. At one point he came over and gave me a strange look. I
was in the middle of rambling on about some story not realizing he
was trying to kiss me. I laughed and we had an awkward first kiss.
After about 10 minutes of casting and
reeling, it finally began to rain. We ran for cover under a tree. He
gave me his over shirt since I was cold from standing in the creek
and the rain. He was shivering but leaned over for another awkward
kiss. We found our groove and sat there cold and wet kissing under a
pine tree in the middle of the woods with no one else around. I could not have asked for a more perfect moment.
(It was
definitely better than getting murdered and buried in the woods.
These were the types of jokes I made most of the day.)
It stopped raining eventually and
started again upon my first cast back in the creek. We continued to fish for another 30
minutes before deciding to call it a day. My sandals were very
slippery, and I was having a hard time hiking uphill. So he let me
borrow his 'toe shoes' (aka skeleton shoes). At this point I had a
sun dress on, a John Deer hat, his large plaid shirt, and now toe
shoes. My curls had long since fallen out, and I'm pretty sure I
resembled a drowned rat. Couple that with hairy legs and, needless to
say, I was not feeling very attractive.
We drove into town and grabbed
margaritas. We asked about each others' families and friends.
Throughout the whole day, we would make these jokes and look at each
other with funny faces for awkwardly extended periods of time which
made each joke funnier. After margaritas we walked down to the old
school arcade. We played ski ball, talked to a psychic, and played
air hockey. During the air hockey game he accidentally sent the puck
rushing at me and smashed my finger. It is currently blue and purple.
In spite of this great date, I found
myself holding back. I would stop short of sharing things or giving
affection because I was remembering those feelings I once had for
someone else. That someone else took my affection and broke my heart
anyway. It feels hard to let go knowing I might get hurt again.
Actually, the odds are pretty high that I will get hurt again. I
found myself asking if I was really ready for this again. I found
myself asking if I really knew I deserved love and deserved to be
treated well.
It's weird because even as I wrote that
last sentence I wanted to write “...and deserved to be treated like
a princess.” Instead I wrote “well”. I felt weird about saying
I deserved to be treated like a 'princess'. Gah! Why is that? I feel
like using the term 'princess is a little overboard. I didn't really
expect a guy to treat me like that. Are my expectations not high enough? Should I be expecting to be treated like a princess?
Either way, I will say my date was a
complete gentleman. He opened my car door, let me order first, held
doors open, untangled my fishing rod, gave me his shirt and shoes,
paid for everything,and made sure I was comfortable. He treated
me...like a princess. Maybe he knows something I don't. I think that
says something about a man when he will treat a woman like a
'princess' even when she's satisfied with just being treated 'well'.
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