Russian Roulette

I gave my number to a guy a week ago who texted me within minutes of entering the number into his phone. That's almost as bad as a guy who calls your phone right in front of you to make sure you didn't give him a fake number. Come on, guys, give us a break!


 I digress. He promptly invited me on a date and I said yes. Fortunately for him, as I have said, my biggest problem is giving people too many chances. So when he texted me to say "If you play your cards right, I'll let you hold my hand" I laughed it off as playful humor.


Now, why is it that (some) men can't stop there? They get a woman to laugh at a joke, and they just keep rolling the dice in hopes of more laughs. They don't realize that they are basically playing Russian Roulette by joking with someone they barely know.


This guy sent me a follow up text to let me know he couldn't wait to feel his "big arms wrapped around (my) little body." Is it me, or is this a little creepy from someone you just met? I didn't even know how to respond. I just stood there looking at the message like someone had just ran my car into a light pole or something. Luckily, I got busy and was unable to respond. During that time, he expressed his displeasure with my lack of response, by texting me over and over. The guy could speak 5 languages, but he couldn't take a hint. I really think that if you give people enough time and space, they prove themselves.Some take a shorter time than others. In this case, merely a few texts and it was clear this game of Russian Roulette would turn out with someone dead.


So we went on a date. It was ok except he kept winking. He would make a joke, and wink. That could be sweet..except he made so many jokes and winked so much it looked like he had something in his eye...or a seizure.


As we walked around, sure enough, he wanted to hold my hand. He wanted our fingers to interlock as well like we were long-time lovers or something. I felt incredibly awkward about it too. What do you say at a moment like this? "Holding your hand sucks"?


Finally, he walked me to my car and hugged goodnight. Afterwards, like clockwork, he texted me to let me know that, indeed, my little body felt good in his big arms. Ew. Ew. Ew. Ew. Ew. When did "I had a nice time tonight" go out of style?


The next day, he texted me "Do you think it's too soon for me to ask for a second date since we had so much fun on our first date?" I responded and said I couldn't because I had plans. He said, "I was kidding." Then, an hour later, I receive a follow up text, "You know you like me. Just admit it." Needless to say, I have yet to respond with my profession of never-ending love...or anything for that matter.


Oh, to top it off he had a name that was extremely similar to Britney Spears.

This is why I'm single.